Heavy fog drifted over the barrows, the rising sun barely making a dent as yet.

Footsteps came through the fog.

"...Sorry to 'ave to bother you with this, Your Lordship, but..."

"Please, Constable, none of that 'Your Lordship' guff." another voice broke in, somewhat annoyed.

"Father, you are an Earl..." a third voice said. "And I could have handled it myself. There probably isn't too much to see."

"Paul, I remember him." The speaker was the oldest of the men who walked the foggy barrow, middle age with his graying hair covered by a Panama hat. "I was only six when he died, granted, but still--he suggested your late aunt's name, after all."

"I know, Father." The Lordship's son Paul was in his thirties. "But I worry about you overdoing it."

The father made a dismissive noise.

A few minutes later, the two men and the two police officers with them arrived at their destination.

"No other ones disturbed?"

"No, Your L..." the policeman caught himself. "No Sir."

"It was Huntwick who discovered it, Father." Paul noted. "We called the police and you immediately. As you can imagine, he didn't want to come back with me."

"Huntwick's a good man." the older man nodded. "But a bit squeamish."

"We got 'is statement." the officer told them.

The older man sighed as he looked at the ground in front of him, and took off his hat. "William, Patrick, Jonathan, all the ones before--intact. Grandfather and Father, the ones after, left alone. None of the wives either." the older man mused. "Just the one. But why?"

"We were 'oping you might 'ave some insight on that, Sir."

It was a grave. A grave that had clearly been dug up and the coffin removed.

"Why indeed?" Paul shook his head.

From the Files of Dr. Fritz V. Baugh, GBI Historian
GBI Case File GBI-2023-41/412

In 1983, three unemployed scientists started up the world's first agency of professional paranormal investigators and eliminators. Now, forty years later, Dr. Johnathan Spengler, Dr. Eden Spengler, Eric Stantz, Marie Lupin, and TJ Anderson hunt strange things in the neighborhood, weird things that don't look good, things running through people's head, and invisible men sleeping in beds as the newest generation of Ghostbusters.

A rental car parked in front of one of the houses there, a converted Victorian terrace.

Two people got out of the car. From the passenger side--which, being London, meant the left side of the car--a tall man with red hair. "So this is it, huh? Nice..."

From the driver side--the right side of the car--came a woman with thick brunette hair. "It's nothing fancy.--you should see where my Mum grew up--but it's home, for pretty much my entire life until two years ago." Unlike the man's New York-tinged accent, hers confirmed her as someone who grew up in this area. They were both young, in their mid twenties.

They started to retrieve a few items of luggage from the boot (It's England. They don't call it a trunk here). "Bloody nice to be able to drive on the proper side of the road again..." the woman smirked.

"So do you think your Pop's home?" the man asked, hefting two suitcases.

"Difficult to tell." she rolled her eyes. "He always gets calls from the Ministry at odd times. I sent him a text, but I never got a response, so..."

"Well, well, well, Miss Janey Anderson..." an English accented voice called out as the front door opened. "About time you made it here!" The speaker was a man of fifty or so years old; he had a handlebar mustache and though his hair was starting to grey, it was the exact same thick brown as the young woman's.

The woman hugged him. "Father! I had no idea whether you were going to be here!"

"Wanted to surprise you, Dear." the man smiled.

"You did." Tessa Jane Anderson nodded. She started to look nervous. "Um, Father, this is...my coworker, Doctor Johnathan Christopher Spengler."

"Martin Anderson." the older man responded, shaking John's hand. "Nice to meet the young man my daughter spends a lot of time refusing to talk about."

"I guess I'm just not that interesting." John shrugged. "Great to meet you too, Mister Anderson."

"Please, Dr. Spengler, call me Martin." Martin shrugged.

"John." John nodded.

TJ exhaled. They both gave her a look.

"I guess this is the part where I'm supposed to talk about my collection of executioner's axes, and how I'm not afraid to go back to the Tower of London?" Martin said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I could mention I know how to molecularly destabilize matter..." John countered, with a bit of a smirk.

"What in the hell are you two..." TJ started to say.

They both laughed.

She made an exasperated noise and then said "Bloody hell...just bring the luggage in, Johnathan!"

"...Hope the room in the basement will be acceptable." Martin was saying as they went inside. "It's a holdover from the days where, well, the servants were housed down there."

"I've heard." John nodded. "A friend of mine married a man from over by Sloane Avenue. It's how my sister immediately identified TJ's accent when we met her."

"You let him call you that?" Martin asked his daughter. "You always threw a fit if anyone here did that."

TJ sighed. "I tried to discourage it, but it didn't take. I suppose I've gotten used to it. Over in the Colonies, at least."

"Jess liked to joke that she and Hayden like the basement rooms because they can be as loud as they want when visiting his parents." John continued. "I...er..." he realized what he was saying and his face got slightly flushed.

TJ's face was even redder.

"Well, it is true." Martin said breezily. "Just put your luggage there."

"Okay." John nodded. The room did look nice; a fold out bed and a television next to a full bathroom and shower. "Now I can take TJ's up to her room..."

"No, you may not." she said archly. "It sounds like my father is already getting the wrong ideas--you're staying as far away from my bedroom as possible."

Martin rolled his eyes, suppressing a chuckle.

"Suit yourself. It's heavy." John shrugged.

"When you get your things squared away, Dear, would you and your...coworker fancy a spot of food?" Martin asked.

"I think my stomach is still on Eastern Daylight Time..." John noted.

"...But since it's about lunch time in New York and dinner time here, I think that will work out quite well." TJ finished.

John nodded.

"Smashing!" Martin grinned. It didn't escape him that one of them had basically finished the other's sentence.

TJ's suitcase was a lot smaller than John's, and not really all that heavy, because she knew she had plenty of clothes back in London.

She dropped her suitcase by her bed, and took a look around the bedroom she'd occupied for most of the first twenty-three years of her life. Nothing had changed since she'd last been in it the previous September.

She did flip on her computer's power switch, and went over to the mirror on her dresser. Blimey...can tell I've been stuffed in an aeroplane for over seven hours... She brushed her hair a bit and looked over at the battered stuffed Paddington bear sitting on her pillow. "Guess you've been starved for attention if you think this is interesting..." she chuckled. Have to remember to check my emails after I get back.

She put down the brush. This'll do...I better not leave Father and Johnathan alone too long...

"Here she comes..." John said. "So should we pretend to be arm wrestling or something?"

"Bloody hell no." Martin laughed. "Though we could butt heads like a couple of rams if you'd like."

John made like he was ready to do just that as TJ joined them. "What kind of trouble have the two of you been making while I was gone?"

"I was just asking Martin to tell me all your embarrassing stories, and dig out the baby pictures." John joked.

"Maybe the one when you were four and went swimming in your Grandpa Colin's koi pond?" Martin said brightly.

TJ sighed. "Glad to see the two of you getting along. Shall we go?"

"Yes, let's." Martin nodded.

John grinned and tousled TJ's hair, drawing a dirty look from her.

"So...they should have gotten to London about an hour ago, right?" Marie Lupin asked Eden Spengler, who was sitting at the laboratory's main computer terminal.

Eden clicked a couple of links. "That's what British Airways' web site says."

"So the big question is: did they join the Mile High Club, or did they wait to be on the soil of Jolly Olde England before bringing a different meaning to 'international relations'?

Eric Stantz, who was sitting nearby, rolled his eyes. "It'd be about dinner time there right now, Marie. They're probably hungry after the long flight."

"Well, they've been thirsty for two years now..."

"TJ is correct." Eden said simply. "You really do have a one track mind."

"The other tracks aren't nearly as fun." Marie retorted. "You eat, you sleep, you shit, you fuck, and then you die no matter how much of the above you've done. So why not do as much of the fun stuff as you can before you're gone?"

Eric and Eden shared an eyeroll. Slimer, who was devouring an entire bag of chips, bag and all, babbled with agreement to Marie's "eat" point.

Jeremy Cranston looked up as the door to the firehouse opened. A girl of about twelve strode in. "Blimey, so 'is 'is the place?"

"May I help you, Miss..." Jeremy asked.

"I'm lookin' for Eric Hawforne." the girl said. "Or, wait, you probably know 'im better as Eric Stantz."

"I would say the chances of consummation are low, but not beyond the realm of possibility." Eden said, rather dispassionately for someone talking about her twin brother's hypothetical sex life. "Johnathan and TJ do have the advantage of certain...external pressures being ameliorated."

"She means they don't have any of us around picking on them." Eric said. "And by 'any of us' I mostly mean 'Marie Lupin'."

"I resemble that remark." Marie said with mock indignity.

"I suspect my Mother's hand in this." Eden continued. "Granted, I know the logical reasons Johnathan and TJ were selected for this errand, but Mother does have ulterior motives."

"Mommy Janine wants to be Grandmommy Janine." Eric chuckled.

"If you and Johnny were more like your Mom I wouldn't have to be so pushy." Marie rolled her eyes

The intercom buzzed. Marie jabbed it. "Talk dirty to me, Jer."

"Um...Eric has a visitor."

"You'll have to try harder than that."

"I'll be right down." Eric rolled his eyes.

The three Ghostbusters came down the stairs; the little girl looked up at them. " 'Ere you are, Eric!"

"Windy?" Eric asked, more than a little surprised. "What are you doing here?"

The girl had blonde hair gathered into two tails on the right side of her hair, and was dressed in a blue coat over a t-shirt and striped tights, with a pair of tennis shoes that looked somewhat over large for the rest of her frame. When she opened her mouth to talk, her pronounced overbite became apparent. "I came 'ere to see you, Silly. Yer Mum 'as somefin' she said you needed to 'ave."

"From Nigrasaxa?" Eric asked, suddenly excited.

"Umm.." the girl looked around nervously.

"They know about the Order and what I do." Eric told her.

"Your accent is very close to Cockney English." Eden surmised. "But it's not an exact match."

The girl looked up at Eden. "You're a tall one, ain't'cha?" She poked her own chest. "Blimey, after Miz Lizbef an' you I start to wonder what they put in the food 'ere in Norf America."

Marie guffawed. "My Japanese Mom thinks it's in the water." She looked down at herself. "Unfortunately, it seemed to take at least a couple of generations to work."

"Doctor Eden Spengler." Eden, ignoring the last couple of comments, extended a hand. "I'm one of Eric's coworkers."

The girl raised an eyebrow and glanced at Eric a second, then shook the outstretched hand vigorously. "Windy Bagwise! Pleased to meetcha!!!"

"Marie Lupin, granddaughter of Lupin III." Marie added. "I'm also part of this screwy operation. How you know Eric?"

"I work wiv 'is Mum." Windy answered. She opened the satchel slung over her left shoulder--one, Eden realized, that looked much like the one Eric's mother frequently wore--and pulled out a folder. "She said it'll 'elp give some context to your...pet problem."

"Thanks." Eric nodded, taking the book. "Give thanks to my Mom, too."

"I notice that you appear to have distinctly pointed ears." Eden blurted out.

Windy blinked. "You did? I guess I should've expected 'at out of a Ghostbuster, right?" She nodded at Eden. "So 'ow old you fink I am?"

"I dunno, twelve?" Marie answered. "Though I noticed the ears too."

"I'll 'ave you know I'm almost twenty-two." Windy smirked. "Don't look it, do I?"

"Indeed not." Eden raised an eyebrow.

"I know some lolicons who would loooove to meet you, Shortstack..." Marie smirked.

"We were just about to have lunch, Miss Bagwise." Eden said. "Would you like to join us?"

"Can't today, Doc." Windy shook her head. "I 'ate to drop an' run, Eric, but your Mum needs me back. Batch of vis brewin' back in th' lab."

"Okay. I'm disappointed but understand." Eric nodded.

"I'll take you up on 'at sometime, though." Windy grinned.

"Wait, Eric, isn't you Mother still in England?!" Marie asked.

"Wizard stuff, Miz Lupin." Windy winked at her. She waved, give a quick enigmatic smirk at Eden. She walked out the door. "See you lot 'round!"

The PKE Meter in Eden's pocket began beeping wildly.

Marie ran outside. "Son of a bitch...she's gone!"

"Return stone." Eric said, shaking his head. "That's something else I'll explain later."

"Cool." Marie said. "Werewolves can do stuff like that too."

Eric hefted the folder. "But right now I need to get a look at this."

Eric was alone when he opened the folder. They may know about the Order, but no telling whether there's something that would break the Code if they saw it in here...

Yeah, maybe... Eric shrugged. Great-Grandson, Great-grandson's son, his grandchildren, his...

"Wait a damn minute!!!" he said out loud "You gotta be kidding me!!!"

"...Realized that the ghost was hiding in the shampoo." TJ continued. "About thirty seconds after Johnathan's sister went to shower up." They were sitting in a fish and chips restaurant not far away from the Anderson residence.

"Oh my." Martin shook his head, eating a chip.

"Yeah, I heard about that for a while as you can imagine." John chuckled. "And so did Slimer, the one who actually switched the bottles."

"Slimer?" Martin asked.

"He's our resident ghost, a sort of mascot." TJ answered. "He's been there since GBI started back in '83."

"Amazing." Martin smiled. "You know, Johnathan, I saw your father and his mates in action once."

"Really?" TJ asked, a bit surprised.

"Might explain why you didn't give me or TJ any 'Is that stuff real?' static." John said. "When was that?"

"Oh, way back in '02." Martin answered. "A demonic wanker attacked Parliament; as a Labour Party solicitor, I was in the offices that day. Prime Minister Blair was trapped inside. The original Ghostbusters came from America to deal with the situation; they had some help, an RAF officer and a couple of his mates."

"Ben King, Iain Bennett, and Tommy Simpson!" John realized. "They founded Ghostbusters UK right after that!"

"Quite." Martin nodded. "Afterwards the official word on the Parliament Incident of 2002 was a terrorist operation going awry; but as someone who was there, I knew the truth."

"You never told me this before..." TJ noted.

"I couldn't" Martin shrugged. "Top secret national security etc etc rubbish. But you're GBI now, so, now you know."

"Just when I think you can't surprise me anymore." TJ shook her head and smiled.

"Any worries about talking about it in public?" John asked.

"Not really." Martin replied. "How many do you think are even paying the slightest bit of attention to us?"

"Good point." John agreed, looking around.

It was right after that that an olive skinned woman, wearing a nametag with the logo of the restaurant, came up to them. "Enjoying your meal, Inspector?" she said to TJ.

"Very much. I..." She looked at the woman. "I've seen you before, haven't I?"

"Two years ago." the woman nodded. "You chased a bigoted pratt out of here, to the delight of everyone else. Though I don't think I've seen you here since, Inspector."

"Oh, well, I've been out of the country a lot." TJ shrugged. "And I'm technically not an Inspector anymore; you were the cashier that night, right?"

"Yes." the woman nodded. "But now I'm an assistant manager here: Haniya Warfield."

"Janey Anderson." TJ shook Haniya's hand. "This is my father Martin, and my American co-worker, Dr. Johnathan Christopher Spengler."

"I hope you also enjoy your meal." Haniya nodded. "Don't worry about the bill--I've comped it."

"That's not necessary..." TJ protested.

"I know." Haniya nodded. "But it's a small thanks for your help that night; I hear that wanker is in gaol for assaulting an immigrant."

"Thank you, Miss Warfield, I..." Martin's phone began to ring, and he groaned audibly. "Damn Ministry..." He pulled the phone out, and his face got less grumpy "Oh! This one I'll take!"

"Enjoy!" Haniya finished, bowing and moving away.

"Sylvester!" Martin said brightly. "I meant to call you earlier! How goes it?"

" 'Sylvester'?" John asked. "I assume it's not his cat"

"My uncle." TJ answered. "Father's brother-in-law."

"You'll never guess who I'm sitting with right..." Martin stopped. A moment later. "Really? Any leads?"

TJ looked a little quizzical. "Something's wrong..." she whispered to John.

"No, that's damn strange, indeed." Martin nodded. "Ah. That would be Janey. She's sitting right here next to me."

Martin grinned mischievously. "And she's not alone, either. Tall ginger fellow. One of her coworkers in the Colonies--Dr. Johnathan Spengler."

TJ facepalmed. "What kind of trouble are you making now, Father?"

"No, no...his son. Don't be absurd, Sylvester." Martin laughed. "But yes, his father was the one Ramis played."

John rolled his eyes.

"Oh...certainly. They're in town for the next week. I think she'll be glad to see you, Paul, and the boys. Just tell them not to be too harsh on her...coworker."

"You too Sylvester. Goodbye." Martin ended the conversation.

"What did Uncle Sylvester want, Father?" TJ asked.

"Damnedest thing." Martin shook his head. "Some wanker did a bit of grave-robbing in his family plot."

TJ looked horrified. "Who?"

"His great-grandfather, your great-great-grandfather, Thomas Cadonfloyd." Martin said. "Poor man's been dead for fifty-three years. None of the other graves were disturbed, just his. No leads or ransom demands or anything else as yet."

He turned to John. "That was Sylvester Cadonfloyd, my late wife's older brother. Janey ever mention any of this?"

"Uh...no." John shook his head.

TJ looked embarrassed. "It's not easy for me to talk about..."

"Sylvester is a titled noble--Seventh Earl of Lungbarrow." Martin explained. "Thomas was the Fourth. Colin, the Sixth, was the father of both Sylvester and Lisa Jane, Janey's mum."

"Grave robbery's pretty sick, yeah." John nodded. "In my line of work, I also can't help but wonder if there's something more to it."

TJ and Martin both looked a bit alarmed. "You think it's possibly some wanker cult or something?" she asked him.

John shrugged "Probably not."

Martin's face got a bit brighter. "Anyway, on to better things--Uncle Sylvester is holding an early birthday party this Saturday." He looked at John. "His actual birthday's not until November, but he's going to be in New Zealand then." He glanced back at TJ. "He's invited both of you to attend."

TJ and John looked at each other, slightly shocked.

Fog drifted along Hobbs Lane as a lorry pulled up to the front of a decrepit music hall that had seen much better days.

Out of the driver seat came a wiry man in a long coat. His short, thick hair was dyed a rather unusual shade of purple, as were his goatee and ponytail; his eyes were obscured by a translucent visor.

The man looked around. "Clear. Bring it out."

Something groaned and began moving in the back of the lorry as the driver went up to the door. He knocked in a distinct sequence.

"Okay, now sing the 'Dopey Dog' theme." a dry, raspy muffled voice called back.

"I will have Bombie rip this door off its hinges and stuff it down your desiccated throat!!!" the man barked angrily.

"Close enough." the door opened to reveal a tall, gaunt figure dressed in a clashing, colorful outfit of reds, pinks, yellows, and greens atop tattered, greenish bandages. "You have no sense of humour, Vidius. It's like you, Levant, and the creepy woman Tungsten brought home as a stray are in a competition to be the most dreadfully boring chaps ever."

From the back of the lorry emerged Bombie, a creature with unnaturally purplish ashen skin, with one shock of bright orange hair at the top of its head. It was clad in a simple tunic and pants tied together by belts made out of vines, with soft shoes of clearly aged and abused material. Bombie was hefting a coffin, clods of dirt still sticking to it.

"Oh, a housewarming gift! You shouldn't have!" the mummy Ahagotsu said brightly. "Maybe put it over near the ottoman. I used a real Turk to make it."

Sitting nearby was a black cat, whom Ahagotsu had named "Panther-Panther" many years ago, though she had already started to think of herself by the name she'd acquired more recently, "Pippi".

"Hey, Kittems Puss! Look who I brought to see you!!!" Ahagotsu pointed to the coffin. "Our old friend Doctor Cadonfloyd! He's been dead for over fifty years, but then again, I've been dead for over four thousand, so I have him beat!"

Pippi hissed.

"Take it downstairs, Bombie." the purple haired man Ahagotsu referred to as "Vidius" barked. Then Vidius grinned. "Lord Thomas, as a chemist, would have appreciated the role his remains are about to play in a scientific breakthrough for the ages!" Then Vidius began to laugh madly.

"And you think he has no sense of humour." Pippi sneered.

"Okay, he does." Ahagotsu shrugged. "But it rather kind of sucks."

Pippi rolled her eyes. Look who's talking...

To Be Continued

Based on Ghostbusters Created by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis

Ghostbusters 2023 Created by Fritz Baugh and OgreBBQ